oh, boy.

An empty cup on the table. National Geographic on the tv. Im staring at my purple, yellow and orange fingernails on the keyboard. And thoughts are swirling in my brain.

Yes. Or no? Why is it so hard? .

My brain went dead. But my mouth kept moving. I dont even know what im babbling about. Irrelevant stuffs. Gosh.

Am i going mad?

Yikes.

YES or NO.

Why is it so hard???

oh, crap.

Wow. I never expect it to come so soon. I mean, everything was so good and all. It felt so unreal, so impossible. Sigh. What's done was done. There's no way back. I gotta move on right?

I've been living in misery for 3 days. 3 days...it feels like eternity. I'm like an empty shell, a walking dead. It's like i don't know what's the aim of my life anymore. I went to sleep thinking bout it, and the first thing that popped into my head when i wake up is him. I spent like, twenty four seven thinking bout it. I cant help it, you know. It's funny how a guy could make you do. One second, they tell you how much they love you blahblahblah BULLSHITS and the next second, it's like nothing has happened before. Wth? I seriously don't know how to carry on with my life. Like, how???? I don't have a clue. I really don't. Life goes on. I know. I gotta forget about everything, get the f-ing hell over him and move on. I know, I know. But the problem is, i don't know how. It's like, i have a mental block, i don't know what to do with my life. All those memories kept coming back to me, my tears kept threatening to fall. And i cant do anything except holding on to that tiny little thread of sanity that's left of me.

Argh. I cant believe im this wrecked. Because of a guy, man. Wth. So not worth it. But what to do? The brain is not cooperating with me. I know it's a matter of time. But how long? How freaking long? Eurgh. This is so sick.

And the heart... I don't know what i could do with it. All the scars are open and it's broken into million of pieces. I don't think there's any way in this whole wide world that will cure a broken heart. Is there? Sigh. I am SO wrecked. So, so wrecked :(

Mend my heart! Anyone?

Forget and Move on, girl. It's the only way.