sigh.

Im silently counting every tick of the clock,

waiting for his reply,

begging the phone to buzz.

Hours came and went,

my phone lie unmoving and silent in the corner,

I finally get it,

my boyfriend still haven't text me :(

Blinded by Love

You think i could get through five hours-five hours, for crying out loud!-without his message? I tell you what, NO!! If you think i could, then you seriously dont know me. We could as well be strangers. I may look mad from the outside, but my heart's crying in the inside. But right now, tears are falling down my cheeks and the threads are coming off all the mended scars. It's like having thousands of daggers pierce through my fragile heart. Yeah, havent i tell you before? My heart's fragile, VERY fragile.

hmm.....

*sigh*
To me, birthdays are really important. I dont know why or how or whatever, it just felt really important, it just felt like something to be really excited about, something which makes you go crazy or whatsoever. But well, this year-although i've gone a lil berserk about it at first-but as time passes (nearer to 11.7.2010) i felt....i dont know, it's indescribable, like, well...uh, you just felt anything but happy....like there's a bother there that you know but cant identify. (oh-kay...i have no idea what i'm babbling about-i've lost my mind. whatev.) So, thing is i dont feel really happy nor excited nor crazy-ish nor oh-my-gawd-i'm-fourteen-is-that-old nor whatever you can think of. just very PLAIN-ISH, BORING-ISH, PFFT-ISH. You get the idea, dont cha?

*sign*

Shoot! I really, really, really should get the hell over with him. This is just plain stupid....Urgh! I cant believe i'm actually acting like this. This is so sick.... Man, i really hope that my hay-wired brain would try to get out of that swamp. I'm sick of it,you know. I know-i know it very well-that it's just a matter of time. Yeah...but how long??? I just wish i can get over with it as soon as possible cause i dont see that there's any reasons to continue falling into that deep, dark pit. And it does nothing but making me bother about things that's not worth the dying of my precious little cells. Yeah, i know i'm talking crap but well, it's part of my nature so....it's kind of un-avoidable!
Anyway....well,um....the conclusion is I SHOULD REALLY MAKE UP THAT USELESS MIND OF MINE AND GET THE TUT-ING HELL OVER WITH HIM. End of story!

*sign*

Shoot! I really, really, really should get the hell over with him. This is just plain stupid....Urgh! I cant believe i'm actually acting like this. This is so sick.... Man, i really hope that my hay-wired brain would try to get out of that swamp. I'm sick of it,you know. I know-i know it very well-that it's just a matter of time. Yeah...but how long??? I just wish i can get over with it as soon as possible cause i dont see that there's any reasons to continue falling into that deep, dark pit. And it does nothing but making me bother about things that's not worth the dying of my precious little cells. Yeah, i know i'm talking crap but well, it's part of my nature so....it's kind of un-avoidable!
Anyway....well,um....the conclusion is I SHOULD REALLY MAKE UP THAT USELESS MIND OF MINE AND GET THE TUT-ING HELL OVER WITH HIM. End of story!

wow!

oh my......the camp made me BEAT. So,so,so beat. i'm like so tired right now, sweating all over my clothes and i'm feeling stinky. Ew. Yea, whatever. The kids were like, giving me headaches, the stupid mural painting was like shit, the cleaning was total SHIT.It's the worst, you know, the cleaning. All those paint brushes,paint blah blah blah...... The water was like so sikit, which made us cleaning all those stupid things under the rain.Stupid right? And guess what? The cleaning leads to a water battle. How SICK and how CHILDISH was that?! But, well, it was sort of fun.....haha.....
BUT unfortunately, my innocent Levi's shoe was WET! Imagine it! W.E.T!!!!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhh! He was INNOCENT! INNOCENT, babey!!!!!!
Boo-hoo......i'm so sad. So, very sad. =( How lah? Haih....whatt to do? He ought to have a shower too.Crazy!
Well anyway,i really hate those paints, you know. i still have them all over my body right now.....especially on my fingernails....yuuck! stupid paint. urghhhh!!!
The paint was like, so hard to get rid of. you need to scrub it like, so hard....UNDER THE RAIN. Just imagine it.....at first they were moping the floor, and SECOND! they were splashing and sprinkling mopped water on you WITH THE STUPID DARN FILTHY MOP! just imagine it! God.....it was like, a disaster. Wreck havoc.
But still at the end we cleaned everything...... we were all exhausted. totally exhaused. And the boys were still playing those stupid childish lame-y games. But well, i joined too. Ha!
Today's the first day only lah.....and i was so beat.....all those sacrifice for the camp....whoa! you canNOT imagine it, babe. Phew! But well, it was a LOT of fun. Hmm......the sacrifices was sort of well, worth it.



And you know what? I think i've been wrong all these times....Wrong.....haih....you Just cannot judge by how people treat you and blahblahblah...the appearane-you can never trust it. I've been repeating this over AND over.....it's just well, HUMAN NATURE. Am i not right? Too stupid...what to do? *sign*

HEART BROKEN

I have never,ever, ever believe that this thing would happen. Maybe i'm too naive, maybe i'm too supid, maybe i underestimated him, maybe i misunderstood him, MAYBE I WAS LIVING IN MY OWN VULNERABLE FAIRYTALE. Why is this happening? I should have expected it, shouldnt i, huh? God.......! I feel so, so, so bad.
Now i believe in those tv shows. I really hope he'll stop treating me like this-like the way he used to-cause it'll make me misunderstand and it'llmake me believe that nothing has changed. I'm like '' shut the f up, perle''........forthe whole day at church, i'm repeating and shouting to myself. I AM JUST SO NAIVE.

May is when flower blooms.

Yestersay was-one word-FUN.




AND BY THE WAY, I'VE GOT A NEW ACCOUNT AT TUMBLR. IT'S REALLY BETTER.
P3RL3ROCKS.TUMBLR.COM

i have nothing to say, just that-:
I AM CARZY ABOUT THIS SATURDAY'S PARTTTTAY! I AM GONNA ROCK THE PARTY!

and*serious*
IT'S BAD NOT TO BE LOVED BY SOMEONE, BUT IT'S DISASTROUS NOT TO LOVE SOMEONE.

which smile do you prefer?

indescribable smile?

piggy smile?

hollywood smile?

baby smile?

of course i prefer the Hollywood smile. Like, duh.

Just came back from church...skipped choir practise. Bad girl,i know~
Well, later im going to Kuilu to plan on the activity on the 1st of May.
Talking about the 1st of May, i thought of Jet's birthday party at Hyatt. Woo-hoo! God, my's booooring without a little bit of fun and a little bit more of parties. Am i not right? I've planned everything! what to do, what to wear, what to put on....blah blah blah....Well, why not?
A GIRL'S GOTTA DO WHAT A GIRL'S GOTTA DO!

I am going to rock the partay! smash all the glasses, eat all the foods, order all the red wine available and GET DRUNK! Oh yes, that is so what am i going to do. XD

hugs.....anyone?

wow!

lama tak da update sudah.....
well,anyway....i'm sort of scar-free already......YEAH!!!! ==
and guess what?! i've got the second victim!!!!!!! first, Andy. and now, MY BROTHER!
yes! yes! yes! you just cant understand a sister's feeling when she found out her brother got chicken pox! i am sooooooooooooo happy!!!!!!!!!!!! can lyfe gets any better? XD
How lovely to see that jerk suffer.......yea,yea...i know im a bad sister but so what?!
This is so good! he made my day! (oh my god! did i just say that?)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

my heart is beating for you

oh god....

i think my face looks horrible.
boo-hoo

awww....the sky is crying.....

too bad i'm not under the umbrella with you.

new here

oh yeah. and by the way. i'm new to all these online blogging. Since i normally write journals in a book and i'm not like, 24/7 online so i never really thought of creating an account here. But most of my friends created an account here(trend!!!!) so here am i, created an account, blogging heven knows what stupid things.

oh, boy! chicken pox. Can you believe it?????

i'm scared.

i'm worried.

i'm(maybe)overreacting.

What the heck am i suppose to do with the scars all over my body??? Yea,yea,yea....i'm too self-consious. I mean,like,all of us are self-cious, am i not right? humph.....

Tuesday i'm going to school. And how in the world am i suppose to face to whole school? I can't accept people giving me those stares. God, this is crazy. I should probably wear a Prada sunglasses and a mask. Yea,right! Like that would help me with my problem.

I just dont understand! Why did i get infected when i'm 14? When i'm so self-consious???? Why not when i'm 5? or 6? When i dont even know i've got a mole on my nose. I envy those who got it when theyre little......

So, what should i do,huh???? It's not like i've got any choices.

This is lyfe. you accept it, go through it and live it. And that's what i need to do.(or so i thought)

JUST GET OVER WITH IT AND MOVE YOUR ASS OUT THERE!

yeah.....it's like losing your own limbs when i first got it.

seeing all those red dots are like seeing someone tortured by devil in hell.

Seriously!